My fabulous sister-in-law, Caitlyn, specifically requested this post, as she will find herself in the same boat shortly, so I am going to do my best to articulate what worked for us and what didn't, in the hopes that I will be able to help her (and you, maybe?) cut some corners!
Bear with me, it's a long post!
A little, itty-bitty background: I am an office manager for a ranch, but the office is just me. So, I have lots of flexibility about when and where I work. This is partially the nature of the beast, and partially the nature of my boss, who is not a beast. I am primarily in charge of data entry, keeping our records and books up-to-date, taking care of employee paperwork, making lists for cow workings, and general keeping-lists-and-calendars duty. I am sometimes very busy, sometimes I am not. It depends on what we're doing on the ranch. I recognize that we are lucky that I am able to stay home with Wacey and work/bring Wacey to work with me, but a system to help make things smoother is a lifesaver.
So here it is:
How I Work With My Kid Everyday, or How He Plays Underneath Me And Also Licks My Computer Screen Regularly.
I started working again about three weeks after Wacey was born. Mostly, this was because I was at home, by myself, in calving season, and not only did I have a lot of calves to enter into the database, but I was
bored. We still spent tons of time on the couch napping, nursing, and just looking at each other, but I tried to ease into working with an hour here, half an hour there, until Wacey's schedule sort of emerged and I had a good idea about what our day was going to look like ish.
If you've had a baby, you know how it is. The first couple of weeks are tough. The tough period lasts longer for some than for others, or you might be like us and have periods of "OMG I CAN SO HANDLE THIS!" with "OMG I am drowning someone save me I am going to ruin this baby."
When he was a tiny baby, it was actually easier than I realized at the time. When he woke up for the day, I'd feed him and get him dressed and we'd head into the office. We started going to the office regularly around six weeks, I think.
At the office, he would either sleep in his bouncy seat or I would work with him sitting in my lap at my desk, or sometimes I'd put him in my Solly wrap if he was really fussy. When they're that tiny, and you can put them down without having to worry that they'll go somewhere, going places is actually pretty easy, in retrospect. Wacey slept a LOT as a newborn, and didn't really get fussy until the evenings, so my main battle in the day was to keep him awake long enough to eat.
As soon as he started to be awake more, I put him in his bouncer on top of my desk (I know, not the safest, but it kept him from crying!) so I could talk to him while I was working, and make faces and play with him. We took a break every so often to tummy time or play on the floor. Around this time, I was trying to establish more of a regular nap schedule for him, and he took most of his naps in his bouncy seat on the floor. I made a playlist on Spotify of quiet movie scores (Chocolat, Pride & Prejudice, The Theory of Everything, etc.) because I'm a nerd but also because Wacey has always slept better with noise around him. I like to think that he likes movie scores so much because I listen to them while I work, so he heard a lot of them in my tummy.
With April and May comes breeding and branding season, so we spent a lot of time at the barn or at the pens with the guys branding calves. For all of these occasions, I wore Wacey in my Solly wrap (which I know is not completely correct in this picture but I was just trying to get him to look up!).
We used the bouncy seat forever at the office, and on fussy days we stayed home for him to be in his swing. I spent a lot of time sitting on the couch with him in a "nest," too, with my laptop in my lap and The Book on a pillow, haha.
When he got a little older, and started to move around more, I got him a baby gym that he loved to lay on and play with. I also had a bucket of toys I left at the office. At this point, around 4-5 months, he still spent a lot of time in the bouncer because he absolutely loved it! It allowed me long stretches (30ish minutes) of pretty uninterrupted work time. I would also save work that could be done one-handed, like data entry, for feeding times.
I wish I had a little better idea of what exactly we did every day, but Wacey wasn't on a schedule for FOREVER, and so we kind of played it by ear. He usually napped around ten, around one, and around three, but very ish. He played on the floor a lot, played with the toys on the bar across his bouncer a lot, and sat in my lap a lot!
In mid-July to somewhere in August, I was really trying hard to get him to sleep in his crib or pack-n-play for his naps, since he was now sleeping in a crib at home instead of in the co-sleeper by our bed. My biggest tip (which of course may not help anyone else at all) is to leave the room. He never slept as well if I was in the room with him. In fact, he did a lot of this:
Cute, but not the best for non-crankiness. As soon as he was tall enough, he started playing with his Exersaucer all.the.time. I got him a pretty deluxe used one from a county swap shop on Facebook for $12, and he still plays with it. It was a great investment! Of a whole twelve dollars. YES.
When he could sit up really well, toys were also the name of the game. We had pretty much ditched the bouncer at this point, since he didn't want to sit in it anymore.
Around five-six months, I also made the permanent switch to the Ergo 360 for our carrier. He's a big baby, and I felt like I had so much more support with the Ergo. However, I still use the wrap occasionally, and can't wait for another newborn to put in it (like, not this year though).
When we started having to go to the barn a lot for weaning and preg check in the fall, the routine went like this: start him off in the carseat with a couple of toys until he fell asleep around 9 or 10. When he woke up, I'd put him in the Exersaucer for a bit, and then went he got tired of that, he got to be handed around until we were done around noon. Misti (my girl boss), or Decky (my big boss), or whoever else was available and willing (Misti's dad, in this picture) would scoop him up and walk around with him, because by that time, he was SO over it! It truly takes a village, so find one and enlist 'em! You'll be forever in their debt but also much saner, plus everyone loves cute babies, right?
Now that he's getting too big for his infant seat, I got a spare pack n' play that I plan on using for the barn for awhile. After that, I have no idea what we'll do, but we'll just play it by ear!
Since Wacey has become more mobile, we've changed our schedule to staying home until after lunch, and then going to the office in the afternoon. I try and wake up before him, check emails, and exercise. We have breakfast together when he wakes up around 7:30, and then we go downstairs. If I have a lot of work to do, I'll bring my laptop down with me and work while he plays. If not, I'll really start working for the day when he goes down for his nap at 9:30.
This is my main, hardcore work time. He sleeps for 2-3 hours, and you'd be surprised how much you can get done when you really hit it! I also work in the afternoon off and on while he plays, and if he takes an afternoon nap I use that time to work, too.
Basically, this all means do what works for you, haha. Helpful, I know.
My Big Tips:
1. Get two of everything--one set for at home, one set for the office/barn. I have a "nice" set at home, and then have found spare sets on swap shops or at consignment stores. It actually works out really well, because the well-loved but entirely functional stuff is perfect to go to the barn because it's less expensive than the like-new stuff, and Wacey doesn't care at all. I don't worry about it getting dirty because it wasn't brand-new to begin with; I just swab it down with Clorox wipes or Simple Green in between uses. I also rotate his toys between the office and home so there's a little novelty, and I keep a stash of diapers, wipes, and baby food/formula at the office so I'm never worried about running out.
2. Keep the routine the same, when possible. If baby sleeps in a crib at home, put them down in a pack n' play or crib at the office. If they are used to eating at noon at home, feed them at noon at the office. I also avoid driving to the office too close to Wacey's naptimes because I prefer him to nap in his crib over the car when possible since he sleeps SO much better. That being said...
3. Be flexible. Your schedule is going to change as the baby gets older and his/her schedule changes. Don't be hard on yourself. That being said, sometimes you're going to have to work in the evenings, Make it an event--put on a movie and some comfy clothes, and have a snuggly work sesh after baby is in bed! If you do have to work at the barn every now and then, don't sweat if baby's schedule gets thrown a little out of whack--he'll be fine!
4. Prepare for and protect your work times. I know Wacey is going to nap around 9:30 every morning, so I make sure that I have everything I need and no distractions before I put him down. This means laundry is changed, I have all the paperwork I need, laptop is charged, water in on my desk, etc. I also do not answer non-work phone calls during this time, I don't check social media or blogs, and I only check emails if they're work-related. This really helps me stay focused! If your baby still isn't napping regularly, keep your desk well-stocked so you can work whenever you get a chance. I do not work constantly, but it's nice to be prepared when I do need to get stuff done!
5. Take breaks! Your kid might or might not be able to play alone all day, but regardless, take breaks to play with him, of course! When I'm really busy, I work for 25 minutes, play for 10. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but most days it's more like half and half, plus we always take a longer break for lunch. If the weather is nice, we'll go outside in the stroller or carrier for a half hour or so for a change of scene and to stretch our (my) legs.
Everyone has a different parenting style, and it's just as important to us that Wacey knows how to play alone and occupy himself as it is for him to know how to play with others. So far, it's worked out well. Of course, he still has super needy days, but we take those as they come and sometimes you'll find me standing at the bar in the kitchen with Wacey in the Ergo, or waking up early to put in a good chunk of time before my little maniac wakes up for the day, haha.
6. Stay organized. I keep calendars for everything, and am constantly looking ahead to try and anticipate the needs of the guys on the ranch. Are we going to need lists printed soon? Do I need to think about a supply order for a cow working? Do we need a crew meal any time soon? And so on. This helps make less spur-of-the-moment projects which tend to stress me out a little more!
7. This is maybe the most important thing: be very clear with your boss about his or her expectations, and about you and your kiddo's needs. I check in often with my boss, letting him know what I'm doing and where I'm at with various projects, and seeing if he has anything that needs doing that isn't on my calendar yet. The guys all have my cell number and know to call it if they need cow info or something to be picked up from town. Thankfully, I work for an outstanding boss and with amazing people, and it helps so much!
All of this being said, I still grapple daily with mom-guilt. Am I working too much? Am I playing with him enough? Does he feel ignored? Am I getting enough done? Does my boss hate me? Is this working for us?
If at all possible, throw it out the window. We're all doing to best we can. The system is constantly evolving and changing around what works best for Wacey, so I'll re-visit this topic again!
