I, like most other moms, had grand ideas about what kind of mom I would be before I had a baby. I'd do this, and never do that, and he would sleep, and I would nurse, etc. etc.
And one word that all moms say after they're out of the trenches of the newborn days about their expectations: HA.
If you know me IRL, you know I'm a Type-A Planner. I like schedules, routines, and knowing what's coming. I like having the same thing for breakfast every morning, and being on top of my game at home and at work. I get immense satisfaction out of showing up with baked goods, and getting things done properly. I'm an introvert and I love to read and do things by myself, but I also love going out to dinner and goofing off with my husband. And now, I have a toddler, and we're planning/hoping for more children at some point.
What I Thought: I wanted to try and nurse until he was a year, because "nursing is the best thing ever for your child," and because formula's expensive, y'all.
What Happened: We made it to month one. It sucked. It was so hard because he had a great latch, was an awesome baby, and I made no milk. We started supplementing with formula at one month, went to all formula by month four, and never looked back because he was finally happy and gaining weight and it was glorious. While I'm going to try hard again next time, and get a better LC, I'm not going to beat myself up like I did with Wace. Because yes, our bodies do all kinds of neat things, but guess what? Sometimes they let us down, and then science does some really neat things.
What I Thought: Sleep was going to be so hard. It was actually my number one worry!
What Happened: It wasn't so bad, and I probably just jinxed myself for all future children. Oh well. It was rough in the first month because he wouldn't sleep laying flat, and he didn't like being in the swing all night, so I held him and we slept on the sofa together. At the time, it kind of sucked (I remember crying to Bert at 9pm that "I just want to sleeeep. I'm so tired.") I was worn out, but Wacey was so sweet, so that helped. Once he got his days and nights figured out, he gradually started only waking up once or twice a night to eat, and he has slept more or less soundly all night since the four-month sleep regression ended. I will say that that sleep regression was awful. I remember writing an email to my cousin with the subject: I HATE this Wonder Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We still have had weeks where he does wake up once a night because of teeth or whatever, but sleep training has worked really well for us and we can usually get him back on track pretty fast. It hasn't been easy, per se, because it does require work, but it wasn't the grueling, all-consuming battle that I thought it would be.
What I Thought: I would be able to go into the office every day.
What Happened: Not anymore. We did go in every day before he got truly mobile, and when he was still happy sitting and playing with blocks or in his exersaucer, but now that he's a wild man, we spend the mornings at home so he can play and then nap in his room, and then we go into the office most afternoons. It's working so far and has made sleeping (and consequently me getting work done) so much easier.
What I Thought: I would have Wacey on a schedule. Babies need schedules. Schedules are the best.
What Happened: HA. No schedules for this baby! He goes down for his nap at the same time every morning, but that's relatively new thing--since 9-10 months. Before, it was all very ish. You know, he woke up around 7-8ish, had a morning nap maybe around 10ish, maybe an afternoon nap around 1ish, maybe a late afternoon nap, maybe not. And that's okay. While a schedule is infinitely easier to handle, it's most easy to handle when he's happy! I read Baby Wise, tried all the tricks, looked for sleep signs, and you know, he wasn't hip to that jive. Which is fine!
What I Thought: A lack of schedule would kill me. We had to get on a schedule.
What Happened: Honestly, a little bit. I've become more flexible since having Wacey, I'm proud to say, and although I'm SO HAPPY we have a semi-schedule now, it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be before, although I think with the next baby I'll have a little better idea of how to get the schedule thing started sooner. I've gotten more productive during naptimes, and work at odd hours. When we're having a rough day, we go out. I put him in the car, and we go get supplies from Big R for Bert, or listen to a podcast in the car, or get groceries. I try to save small grocery runs or trips to Big R for cranky days or days when we need a change of pace.
I will say that I protect his only predictable nap (morning) fiercely. He is a whole different baby if he misses this nap, and the change isn't a pleasant one.
Sometimes he just needs a change of scene to get out of a funky mood, or alleviate crakiness brought on by a missed nap. This is a good indicator that he has a personality--or at least pieces of his personality--a lot like his mama. Heaven help us.
Sometimes he just needs a change of scene to get out of a funky mood, or alleviate crakiness brought on by a missed nap. This is a good indicator that he has a personality--or at least pieces of his personality--a lot like his mama. Heaven help us.
What I Thought: I'd take him everywhere
What Happened: I do. Everywhere! Where I go, he goes. The barn, the store, the office, etc. This is because we don't have any daycare options we can afford, and also because I like him. I still relish a baby-free outing every now and again, but we're like a really small gang and I enjoy that.
What I Thought: The baby weight would be gone within nine months.
What Happened: That's a picture of me two weeks before Wacey was born. I'm happy to report the tummy is a little smaller now, haha.
Truly, I'm still working on it! I've been back to my pre-baby weight for awhile, but not my pre-baby size since I don't have as much muscle. I learned, though, that for me it's about changing my lifestyle and finding workouts that I really enjoy doing. I think I've found my groove, and I'm so much happier when I'm not dreading workouts. For instance, I hate jumping, running, and HIIT in general. Totally not for me. I can do some T25 every now and then, but not every day. I do like weights, and I like walking (but fast--no strolling for this gal), and "quiet", strength-based workouts like Pure Barre. If there were a pool nearby, I would swim. But, I feel so much healthier then I did pre-baby, so I'm glad to be were I am. There you go.
What I Thought: We'd read so many books!
What Happened: I try to sit and read books to Wace every day, but he's just not into holding still for that long! He will, however, sit by himself and look at books, and he's constantly "reading" one in the car, so I'll take it until he's old enough to be truly interested.
What Happened: I try to sit and read books to Wace every day, but he's just not into holding still for that long! He will, however, sit by himself and look at books, and he's constantly "reading" one in the car, so I'll take it until he's old enough to be truly interested.
Takeaway: Kids are wonderful, unpredictable but sometimes predictable creatures and we love them even though they're a tiny bit disgusting and smear food everywhere. I miss my tiny little snuggly baby, but seeing him grow and learn new things is such a kick that I'll take the trade, any day!
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